What It Feels Like To Truly Self Sabotage Yourself : Life Talk #24

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It’s been more than a year since I’ve written a life talk posts. It’s one of these posts that I only feel compelled to do when I’m inspired by something or I genuinely feel like I have to write it. So I guess, I’ve finally felt inclined to do that. To do this, I guess. And It truly feels necessary.

It’s just that I have a terrible tendency to do the same things that put me in terrible positions over and over again and I feel like I’ve reached the point where I’ve had enough. And it only came to me recently that, I basically self sabotage myself. And I don’t know why I do this, but I’m sure a lot of people do this too, just in different ways.

It’s all just fun and games to put things until the last minute and then finally doing it and it feels great to accomplish the impossible, but man I’m tired of this game. It’s stressful, annoying and completely messes me up inside and yet I continue to do it. Like literally, I have a ton of work that I have to do and If I don’t do it, I could fail my internship, but I’ve barely started on it. I don’t know if it’s the thrill in overcoming the obstacle, but It’s just always been a reoccurring thing for me.

Then on the flip side, another way I self sabotage myself is sleeping in, which for the love of god, I’m like 22 and I still have this problem. It’s ridiculous. And I know that it may seem that I’m rambling and not really saying much, but just stating things, but trust me, if you’re reading this and you’ve felt like this before, then you can totally relate.

But if you can’t relate and you’re one of those organized types, well good on you. If you weren’t that person, you’d be me. Granted, I’m a low key successful writer, on the lowest of keys I should say, but still, good on you, this life isn’t a fun one. Trust me. And I really hope by writing this and pretty much acknowledging the problem that I’ll finally fix things. I hope.

Now for the final flip side, I have a tendency to annoy people. Or at least, I’ve been told. Honestly though, it’s a double edge sword this one. Because if I’m annoying, to stop being annoying is to stop talking, but if you stop talking than what really is left out of the situation if you never talk?

That’s something I’ve yet to solve myself. It’s all shambolic man. It’s just a crazy life we live.That’s all I can really say. I know it’s totally cliche to say, well, you’re your own worst enemy, but man does that ring true for me. I always believed that I should be a total and honest writer, so this posts really gives you an insight into what I think, so if there’s anything to take away from this it’s that, if you feel this way, you’re not alone.

We’re just trying to make it one day at a time fam. More importantly though, even though I already stated this, I am truly hoping by writing this all and acknowledging my mistakes, I will fix things. I think I’ve finally reached the point in my life where the thrill of self sabotaging myself and fixing things is gone and I’m burned out. Mans are not about this life anymore. The thrill of finessing a ton of work and making it out in the end is done. I want to grow up.


From The 6ix,With Love

Thank You For Reading

Sincerely, Kid From The 6ix

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